I Think...Summers coming now

So summers coming, Im getting sicker of school everyday and all I want is my Summer Holidays where you have all the time in the world to do what the fuck you want. 9am wake up calls to N.M once we get there was realise its way to early and wonder who the fucks idea this was... good times and great memos happen in summer. I still remember last summer like it was just last holidays. I think its time for a change. Live life and let live. Ive changed alot this year. I think ive grown up a bit to but im still not that grown up... still watch cartoon, find lollies wonderfully tasty and well i still want that gumball machine at kmart :D but ive realise things i ddnt before, i ask myself so many questions im getting tired of thinking, but there are still so many things i wonder about. Moving back to nz... is it the right thing? am i just caving in and lookin for comfort? Tbh i think i caved in, i couldnt hack it and pussyd out but is that so bad? to me yesh i hate showing weakness, i hate showin emotion but yet im still moving back. I miss everything i miss everyone i miss home i miss the days where everything feels like total shit but then i get that one txt from a bestie that just puts a cheeky smile on my face and everything just feels a lil better. I miss thoes super days where i go home and say well that was an awsome day! I just miss thoes days. So this is all blah blah blah and i just need a place to let it all out. and a question ive been asking myself... have i changed alot? am i now that nerdy asian that spends her time inside studying? or am i still that layd back person i love so much??